pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
