Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
