I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
So vagazzling was a success
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
