wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Oh god it's open bar.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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