Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
