i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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