Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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