I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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