so explain again why im purple
no
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
