Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
