THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
