It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
