you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
