hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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