Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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