you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
