what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
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Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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