Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
