Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
