You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
