So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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