summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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