we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just forgot I was standing up.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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