Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
