I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
