Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
