I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
