its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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