she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need to align my fucking chakras
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
