I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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