Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize