It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
