yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
