saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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