we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
