Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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