yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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