i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
