Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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