Michael Bay diarrhea
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
