As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize