She went from zero to smokin in five shots
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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