so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize