I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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