Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Alive.
So much puke
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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