i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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