wat bout pragnant strippers??
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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