I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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