So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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