ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
