I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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