I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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