I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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