So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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