When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
