she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
