I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
