You're my little dorito
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
