Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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