First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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