took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
